


Holding Onto You (Don't Let Go Yet)

by Shaw



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Justice4Kairi, Mentions of Character Death, Post-Canon, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 14:02:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17684846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shaw/pseuds/Shaw
Summary: Kairi is a beacon in the dark. A brilliant light. The brighter she shines, the darker the shadows that gather around her. Namine wants desperately to help beat back the night trying to swallow her whole.





	Holding Onto You (Don't Let Go Yet)

Namine had never slept easy. She simply dreamed too strongly, felt too deeply-- it never allowed her blissfully deep slumber. That was why the peek of light coming from the bathroom connected to her and Kairi’s room woke her up easily. She opened her eyes slowly; blinking in the darkness, she let her vision adjust before she sat up.

 

Kairi’s bed was empty, the sheets uncharacteristically tangled and twisted. Namine couldn’t help the frown that tugged on her lips. The little stuffed lamb plushie that Kairi so cherished had been knocked on the floor. With slow deliberation, Namine slipped from her own bed and went to retrieve it. She smoothed a hand over its head and placed it gently among the mused sheets and blankets of Kairi’s mattress. 

 

“Kairi?” There was no answer. Namine walked to the bathroom door and peered through the cracked door. Kairi was sitting before her vanity. Red was everywhere, deep and dark, and for a moment fear seized in Namine’s chest. Kairi’s eyes tracked to her through the mirror, staring blankly. 

 

“Kairi…” Hair was everywhere. It was scattered around as if Kairi had borderline ripped it from her skull. Scissors, since discarded, sat on the counter top of the vanity. What was left of it on Kairi’s head was cut choppily and very close to the scalp. One little patch was longer than the rest; it sat on the back of her head. 

 

“Hey.” A broken little smile was given from Kairi as she finally acknowledged Namine’s presence properly. The blonde couldn’t help the swell of tears that started to force their way out of her. She threw her arms around Kairi before she could think to not and clung to her tightly. 

 

They sat in a dense silence together. They didn’t necessarily need to speak words. Not yet anyway. Namine merely held Kairi and Kairi allowed herself to be held, burying her face into the crook of Namine’s arm. Somewhere, a cricket sang a lonely song in the night. Namine eventually broke the silence. 

 

“I miss him too… We all do…” 

 

“I know.” Kairi whispered back hoarsely. Namine frowned. 

 

“I’m sorry.” The apology was heavy between them. Namine stroked Kairi’s head gently and took a deep breath. She wanted to help, somehow. She just wished she knew how she could do so. Kairi hadn’t been the same since she came back. Everybody tried to pretend that things were fine. They weren’t. Some of them felt it more poignantly than others. 

 

“Do you want me to stay?” Her voice sounded so small in the silence. Kairi didn’t answer for a long time. She made no move to pull away, so Namine didn’t do so either. The bones of the house creaked lowly. 

 

“... You should go back to sleep. I’m sorry I woke you up.” 

 

“...” Namine didn’t know what to say to this. She tightened her grip on Kairi before pulling away. She kept her hands on her though, not wishing to depart completely. Kairi’s eyes were glassy with tears unshed. 

 

“I know you have trouble sleeping… It’s sort of selfish of me to keep you up any longer.” Words danced on the tip of Namine’s tongue as she tried to figure out if Kairi really wanted her to stay of actually wanted her to go. She could feel her still, somewhere deep inside. They were still connected after all. The turmoil inside was almost suffocating. She couldn’t let Kairi carry that burden alone. 

 

She moved her hands to Kairi’s and held them to her chest. 

 

“You’re not selfish.” She affirmed. She knew selfishness intimately. Kairi was anything but. She stared into Namine’s face searchingly, mouth seeming to worry around words she didn’t wish to speak yet. 

 

“I want you to be well rested. You and Riku were going to go to see Aqua tomorrow.” Namine wished she could will Kairi to understand her thoughts. To beam her concern, her love, directly into her and somehow make her understand that she was there. She was with her. Instead, she clutched Kairi’s hands harder, her own pale knuckles going white with the force of her grip. Kairi’s lip trembled. 

 

“What about you?... You need to sleep too.” Her mind wandered back to the tangled blankets. To the wet pillowcases. Her heart clenched uncomfortably and for a moment Namine almost threw her arms around Kairi again. 

 

“I’m alright.” The words were hollow. They both knew it was a lie. Perhaps the first one Kairi had ever told, if at least to Namine. 

 

“ _Please._ ” Her voice cracked with the sheer force of the emotions swirling in her. It was a desperate plea, one that she hoped Kairi would understand. In response, Kairi appeared to flinch slightly. The tears were visible now, weighing on her eyelids heavily and threatening to spill over any second. 

 

“I’m fine.” And with that said, she began to cry. Slowly at first. Then, as if a dam had busted inside of her, all at once. Namine gave one, small anguished noise at the sight before closing her lips tightly. 

 

“I’m fine.” Kairi continued, weeping openly. _No, you’re not!_ Namine wanted to say. She wanted to say so many things but she knew if she tried to open her mouth she would find no voice to use. Instead she swallowed tightly and brought Kairi into a fierce hug. The other girl’s arms found their way around her this time as she pressed her face into Namine’s chest. 

 

“I miss him so much. I miss him, Namine. It’s _my_ fault he’s not here. It’s my fault!” 

 

 _No, it’s not-- It’s never you, Kairi._ Tears began to leak from Namine’s eyes now as she tried to squeeze the sadness out of Kairi. The hiccup-y tears had already soaked the front of her night gown. 

 

“If-If I had just done something, anything!... We made a promise--” Kairi’s voice failed her at this time; She clutched Namine’s tightly, hands fisted into the satin of her clothes. 

 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry…” Was all she could say in the moment. 

 

It was soft, croak-ish, and quiet enough that Namine might have missed it had she not been paying rapt attention to Kairi at the moment. A single request. _Please stay…_ Namine gave her answer simply, murmured into Kairi’s choppy hair. 

 

“I’m not going anywhere.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Guess who finished KH3 in two days! Me! Wow! WOW! Anyways, I love KH with my whole heart and they did Kairi so wrong it literally makes me want to cry. I still loved the game! And I still love KH! But I think we can all agree that what they did to Kairi was disgusting and wrong and that she deserves to be portrayed as an actual person with feelings and emotions! And that SOMEBODY should actually acknowledge her and her suffering! 
> 
> Anyways thanks for stopping by, and don't miss the other pieces I inevitably plan to write! I have one I kinda want to write about Ventus and Vanitas...


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